Nia Imani

a liar is a coward & a coward dies a thousand times inside. today i quit being so scared, my consequence is a lesson.

school

-- i'm feeling like a stupid little cunt, now. i just got my grades & it's looking like 2 C's 2 B's & 1 A. : (

i feel like a fucking failure. i hate this feeling, esp because the classes i got C's in were both Communication class & that's my fucking major. next semester, of course, i'll do better. i just hate knowing my potiential, yet being judged with bad grades. i wish my heart & soul were the only things people could see. in that case, i'd be so far ahead of where i am now ... in a perfect world. However, i don't live in a perfect world yet. i'm working on it.

the drought.

Seclusion plagues me. in a room full of people, those I’d be interested to know, those with great stories and funny jokes I’d love to hear; in a classroom full of people dying to be distracted, on a train, or on a plane where conversation lingers and a stranger awaits the meaningless words you have to offer; even in my home, with family … seclusion plagues me. I long for some human interaction, but there seems to be an invisible force preventing me to let anything wonderful in or a see through filter near my mouth that wont let me say the right thing; more importantly, to be who I truly am … whatever the fuck that is. I feel as though a little birdie is in my head, right in my ear, whisper beautiful words of tragedy in my ear. But my eyes, my eyes see a beautiful life that that birdie said I never could have. I wanna kill that little bird; kill him & take his fucking wings. Seclusion plagues me.

college life is proven to be more hard than i anticipated. like school, i must conquer life. like class, i must pass life's test. like a teacher, i must win over the game. and like students, i must lead them all to the promise land. : ) tlkin shit again.

; )

i'm just sittin here at my computer, feeling cooler den a muh fucka! lol. just realizing that my followers! you don't even know me, at least further than my music selection and fashion likings. so, i'ma start updating you all on my life again!!!! (thank me later!)